How is this for a start of a story?

Drifted slowly bobbying up and down in his surivial swimming posistion, he was face down in the water. Only moements ago was he on his own ship the Rosemary. He was taking the daughter of filthy rich mayer of Boca Roton. He had married her and was transportng her and there 3 year old child to a farther away estate, which he had just bought. Rique, the merchant, was a traveling merchant who would sell things and make importnants of spices and other things of that sort. He would typically drop by Boca Raton to sell his small stock, common day herbs and wines, sometimes to children things like chocolate and toys. Everyday he went there he stayed there four days. Maybe it was true love at first sight or maybe she just met his standards, but in every other town he only stayed two days. He hardly got to talk to her because she always had a couple of the mayers men watching her. One day she got fed up and ran away and found him by the docks, so she had noticed him too, she requested to leave with him, but he knew he would be wanted if he did that. So he dragged her back to the Mayer and took in the insults from her. The Mayer thanked him and invited him over for dinner.

And so now he was married with her. She relized she did want to escape her father but did not relize Rique knew this and knew he would get on the good side of the mayer and be able to be forgiven by her. So things worked out well.

If someone did not know better they might think Rique was drift wood if he did not sometimes lift his head and took a big breath from his deep sleep. Only a momments ago was he with Maria his son aboard the Rosemary. Only a moment ago was he on a pirate ship, witnessing the death of his son, and destruction of Rosemary. Everything he owned was on that ship and when the knife was unsealthed all the love given to that boy was spilt. He had men with him on Rosemary but they died too. His wife was not killed, for he knew that she would be used for a ransom. The Mayer would do anything to get her back. Aparently he was worth nothing, the slick Pirate captain missing half of his teeth and dark of face figured, so he was thown over boar for the sharks.

He was starting to get his energy back, but was not srong enough to get back on the hunk of Rosemary that was left, that he rode as far out as he did. He was also not the least bit angry at the Pirate, how could he? He was too tired. He thought he saw the pirate in a wanted add, Wanted Dead: Stede Smith (They did not bother to write “Or alive” as they mostly don’t do)

How is this for a start of a story?
Rich in detail, and full of enlightning and excitable language, a brilliant start to what is looking to be a brilliant story. How is this for a start of a story?
its good...keep writing and good luck!How is this for a start of a story?
its okay its good to start off with
mm... A good try. It didn't really grab me, sorry. You know when you read a book and after the first five words instead of seeing letters you see images. Try for that. Paint a picture with your words and put something at stake, little less backstory.



"Easy reading is damn hard writing." -

-- Nathaniel hawthorne

I found it not so easy to read.

But keep trying!

mr tire