I'm turning 17 and want to go out to dinner with my friends. I'm not expecting them to buy me a gift (although it would be nice) but I am expecting them to pay for themselves. My parents don't have money to be spending on paying for all my friends' meals. I'm thinking of having a medium sized group between 8 - 15 of my friends. How do I invite them and let them know that I won't be paying for them without seeming tacky or stingy that I'm not paying?
Also since they're paying should I ask them where they think would be a good place to eat? I would like something like PF Chang's but the dinner menu can be expensive so I might settle for somewhere like Chili's. Thanks everyone!|||I disagree with the other answer. My friends and I always go out for our birthdays and we all pay our own way. You can't really expect the birthday person to pay for dinner for 10 people - the bill would be hundreds of dollars. When it's my birthday I always bring plenty of wine, so in a way I am paying for the drinks and I think that is enough. Others don't even do this though - which is fine by me.
Anyway you're only going to be 17 so I guess drinking is out for you. I would just be straight up with your friends that it is a pay your own way thing. You can say no gifts, this way only the ones that really want to get you something will. And those who expect a free dinner won't come at all.
You are right this is just the same as going out for dinner like you always do, but with a reason. Enjoy your birthday dinner!|||Sorry to burst your bubble, but you cannot invite people to a "party" and expect them to pay for their dinner. And for you to expect them to pay for dinner and bring you a gift is completely and utterly over the top.........or under the bottom as far as etiquette goes. It surpasses tacky, and gets right into rude. Read ANY etiquette book.
Until such time as you can afford a party at a restaurant, I suggest you have a get together at your home, and that will be a real party, not this pay your own way thing you have in mind.
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